Harsh Realities of Aging: Part I
I enjoy reading blogs and watching YouTube videos from other retirees. It’s interesting to hear their perspectives on topics that interest me as a retiree. One of my favorite YouTube channels is Robert’s Active Retirement. His highest viewed video (1.2 million views) was on the topic of Harsh Realities of Aging. I’m going to discuss his list of ten harsh realities. These are not meant as complaints but rather just an honest view of the challenges that come with growing older.
Our time on earth is limited. Do you remember being 18 and thinking your parents who were in their 30s or 40s were old and your grandparents who were in their 60s were ancient? Now that I’m 70, I don’t feel that old, but my mortality stares me in the face every morning when I look in the mirror. According to the Social Security Actuarial Life Table, a 70-year-old man has a 15-year life expectancy. There is a strong probability that I will die in the next 15 years (my dad died at 85). That is a sobering reality, and it gives me impetus to spend my remaining time well. Traveling with my wife, spending time with our grandchildren, visiting our mothers, serving God by helping others is how we choose to spend our remaining time. “Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For you are just a vapor that appears for a little while, and then vanishes away” (James 4:14, NASV).
Health is everything. When we get together with friends and family in our age range, we often discuss physical ailments. Within our peer group at church, we have friends with poor eyesight, hearing loss, and hip and knee replacements. Some have had strokes, heart attacks, and cancer. We have personally visited our doctor’s office and emergency room multiple times this year as well as seeing a physical therapist.
Even minor health issues have curtailed our daily activities like exercise, pickleball, and dancing for a short time. A major health issue could adversely affect our travel plans and our future together.
A large part of our day involves taking care of our health. We make sure we see a doctor when we have a health issue and take prescribed medications. Many hours a week are spent exercising and doing physical activities to help us stay healthy. Watching calories and eating better have become a way of life. At this time in our life our health is just as important as our finances. However, we realize that no matter how hard we work at good health it is all in God’s hand and eventually our bodies will wear out. “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well” (III John 2, NIV).
Independence feels more fragile. Independence for the elderly is defined as the degree of individual autonomy in meeting their daily needs such as eating, dressing, showering, moving about, communicating, etc. (National Library of Medicine). As you age you begin to realize that independence can be taken away rather easily. Driving at night becomes an issue, reaction times slow, climbing up ladders feels risky, illnesses take longer for recuperation, and sprains and strains can curtail even the most active senior.
This year has been a physical challenge for Tammie and me. Last November Tammie sprained her knee, and it has been causing her difficulty all year. She has started physical therapy and is being evaluated by her doctor. Several months ago, I started having pain in my shoulder and rotator cuff. I have also seen a doctor and have begun physical therapy. Both of these injuries have caused us to cut back on some of our physical activities. It is clear to us that we are just one accident or one illness away from losing some of our independence even as we do our best to recuperate from our current injuries.
“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you” (Isaiah 46:4, NIV).
Memory slips and mental mistakes. One of the biggest fears of older adults is getting dementia. Most of us have had moments of wondering why we came into a room, being unable to find a word we want to use, calling people by the wrong name, or simply forgetting someone’s name. When that happens, we often worry if that is an initial sign of dementia.
The actual lifetime risk of getting dementia is fairly high. “The estimated lifetime risk of dementia after age 55 is about 42%, though that number varies significantly based on sex, genetics, and lifestyle. Women face a higher lifetime risk (48%) than men (35%), largely because women tend to live longer and age is the single biggest risk factor. These numbers represent population-level averages, and your individual risk depends on a combination of factors, many of which you can influence” (Science Insights). The actual percentage of people who currently have dementia are lower, but it increases with age. About 13% of those older than 85 have been diagnosed with dementia.
Although there is no cure for dementia various organizations suggest ways to lower your risk which include weekly physical activity, staying socially active, eating a healthy diet, quitting smoking, limiting alcohol consumption, staying mentally active, getting enough sleep, and controlling weight (Society for Behavioral Science, World Health Organization, and Mayo Clinic).
While fear of dementia is a rational fear, we do our best to reduce our odds by staying physically and mentally active and controlling the other variables listed above. More importantly our faith in God reminds us to “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10, ESV).
Friends and family die. According to Jimmy Dean, “You know you’re getting old when you go to more funerals than weddings.” At one time it seemed that we were always attending or being invited to weddings. First, it was our friends, then it was the children of our friends, then it was our former students. But about 15 years ago it began to change. Since then, we have attended the funerals of several of our mentors, both of our fathers, our two sons, and more recently several peers and friends.
It is always sad when those we love and respect die. Knowing that we can never hold them or tell them we love them in this life is devastating. It is disheartening to realize that the older we get the more of our friends and family we will see leave us. But as believers in Jesus, we know that we will see our loved ones again because Christ has defeated death. “But I am telling you this strange and wonderful secret: we shall not all die, but we shall all be given new bodies! It will all happen in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown. For there will be a trumpet blast from the sky, and all the Christians who have died will suddenly become alive, with new bodies that will never, never die; and then we who are still alive shall suddenly have new bodies too. For our earthly bodies, the ones we have now that can die, must be transformed into heavenly bodies that cannot perish but will live forever. When this happens, then at last this Scripture will come true—’Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where then your victory? Where then your sting?’ For sin—the sting that causes death—will all be gone; and the law, which reveals our sins, will no longer be our judge. How we thank God for all of this! It is he who makes us victorious through Jesus Christ our Lord! (I Corinthians 15: 51-57, TLB).
In Part II we will discuss the final five harsh realities of aging.